Fox News Comedy Show: Sign of the Apocalypse

Written by: Sheri Divers on Jun 4, 2007 9:00 AM EDT

Mike Cooper Jr. is the DFA Communications Intern: 

In a land that relys upon the annual technological inventions, where men and women walk around aimlessly, bumping clumsily into one another because eyes are attentively focused on hybrid machine combinations of phones, cameras and electric scissors, the eighth deadliest sin is to not take part in the madness.  

Maybe the Amish are on to something though. I, for one, sympathize for them. Because they will never have to endure this: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0aI9rRYqNg 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNqiC_X9hoY 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdC0iF4xKLM 

Apparently there’s some novel new “comedy” show on the Fox News channel. Television has reached a new low. That’s saying a lot too - think about it. Who would have thought it was possible?  

To think some wizard actually drew this up in secret bunker board room beneath their NYC studios, and his boss green lighted it.

This Red Eye, rumor has it, has been around for months. Like a fatal curse carried by blood, notice of this yarn reached my attention just this week.  

This isn’t some eccentric knee jerk reaction to the conservative’s trying to show a sense of humor. No! If it is actually a source of laughs for someone above the age of seven - though do remember many conservatives don’t think above a second grade level – it would draw compliment. “Touché,” I’d scream from a rooftop here in Burlington. 

Leave it to the “fair & balanced” folk to miss the joke entirely. These are, after all, the same ilk who made Larry the Cable Guy as rich as Dave Chappelle because of his one liners…err…one liner.  

What is funny is that The Daily Show, staffed by actual comedians, manages to produce a better “news” product than the seasoned journalists at Fox. The best authors, prominent politicians and anyone pertinent in the week’s discussion of issues typically find themselves sitting in a chair across from Stewart or Colbert. Fox has to rely on featuring claptrap peddlers, over the hill scoundrels, fear mongers, and that human skeleton Ann Coulter and his heart that’s two sizes too small.  

To be fair, beyond the fact that Red Eye is horrible, Fox is aware of this fact. So this blowhard of a program only comes on at 2 a.m. Therefore, the usual Fox News observers aren’t part of this show’s audience - if there is one. Whoever does frequent this program in the middle of the night is part of a far more treacherous troupe.  

It’s possible the Red Eye gang, a threat to humanity itself no doubt, are the sort H.G. Wells envisioned as the uncivilized tribe that would inherit the earth in The Time Machine.  

So be on the lookout because in the back rooms of comic book stores the culprits of civilization’s demise gather to watch comedy on a news channel.  

-Mike Cooper  

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