Maine's glbt's get some rights

Written by: Patrick Pineault on Nov 16, 2005 4:40 PM EST

from a DailyKos posting:

Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

by Bill in Portland Maine

Tue Nov 15, 2005 at 07:25:51 AM PDT

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...


A rude discovery...

As most of you know, last Tuesday---after decades of struggle and two previous defeats at the polls---voters here in Maine approved a state law granting basic civil rights to gay people. Yay for us.  

As the religious right sputters and fumes and waits for the sky to fall, I've been testing my newfound rights. So far I'm not too impressed.

See, when you've been kept in the cellar of inequality your whole life, it's a little weird stepping out into the sunshine for the first time.  I was expecting to feel the kind of tingly euphoria you get when you receive an unanticipated tax refund.  Or you open a really great Hanukkah gift (I'm not Jewish, but Bill O'Reilly has single-handedly destroyed the spirit of Christmas so I'm shopping around for a new, untainted holiday).  Or someone gives you free sky box tickets to watch the Patriots beat the brains out of [insert unfortunate loser team name here].  I didn't feel equal...I felt SUPER EQUAL.  Sweets and flowers equal.

So last week I took my new rights out for a spin.  And boy did I get let down.  For instance, we can't park in one of the special parking spaces near the entrance of a supermarket without getting towed.  We can't cut in line at the movies.  We can't claim a civil rights discount when we eat out.  We can't walk into a bar and suck beer right out of the tap.  We can't "make out" in church or "urinate" in public.  Our neighbor still expects his lawnmower back.  And as for government benefits, I can count the number we've gotten on one hand and have six fingers left over (an unfortunate byproduct of too many Schlitz beers and Kent cigarettes during gestation---thanks, Mom).  Oh, and our "valuable" civil rights gift bag?  A half-off coupon for an oil change, two pens with a Maine Turnpike Authority logo, and a pack of Twizzlers.

Now I understand why the right-wing is fighting so hard to keep us from getting married---that's where the gold is.  The booty.  The ch'ching!  The stock options and backstage passes.  In fact, there are over 1,000 benefits of marriage---including those listed here---that we're still being deprived of, even though we pay taxes and obey the law just like straight folks.  So onward we push.  Because now that my partner and I have tasted the salty air of equality, we want us one `o them parking spaces.

Tags:
Location: Riverside, CA 92501